Its the 5th day of December.
Even if its the holidays, I realize I've been way busier than I'm supposed to be. Also, there's a lot of problems bugging me. So much frustration all around.
I know its hard for two person to combine into one flesh and yet its possible to. I have no doubts about anything but yet communication is really important.
I can't seem to overcome my strong jealousy towards so many other double X chromosomes out there.
I just really want myself back. The one before darkness took over. The sweet little girl I was.
Everything I see, touch, feel; its purely innocent. Innocence that lies deep beyond the heart. Something that I would really love to shimmer into the world through my little eyes. Is that even possible? I know that evil thoughts had creeped into my heart and overtook my innocence. Its still there, yet to be found.
Who? Who can touch my heart? Who's the one that could successfully unlock the chamber of my heart and light up my innocence once again?
Tell me..
I've chosen you. I know your existance will make my world a better place. I have faith in you. I trust you with all my soul. You are the only one that can understand me, just by looking into my eyes. You've found happiness and you've rekindled my small spark of smile. Please permanently stay.
Nonetheless, I never wanted to grow up inside. I've always had the choice whether to grow up. I'm not a little kid anymore but I would love to live in a world of mine that only children understands. A peaceful world where everyone are friends. A place where there's no such thing as hate. A land where everyone can live together and be happy until Grim Reaper decided that their life had to come to an end.
I just don't want to feel frustrated. I just want to feel like a kid again. No worries, no anxiety, no insomnia, no problems.
I just want to be happy.
Love,
Kel.
PS. Please stay happy, each and everyone of you.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
For every dark corner, there is always a brighter side.
Hey all.
Its like 47 more days till 2014. Time flies like some bullet nowadays. Everyday just goes by, productively or wasted. They just go and never come back.
Well, I realize I need to have some down sides posted here. Because too much up sides makes myself look fake. Who is able to be happy 24/7? Its possible, but difficult.
Sorry for the long post ahead.
I'm gonna pour my heart out, and tell you things that I didn't have courage to open up to anyone. It might change your perspective towards me, but this is me, and I am sorry. Let's just start with regrets. All my regrets in 2013.
The biggest regret is, I threw my temper at everyone when I'm pissed. Even if I feel bad after that, it's still a big no no. Its not something I'm taught to do! What is wrong with me. Flashback to all the words I have said to hurt people because I'm pissed, actions of jealousy because it makes me feel better on the inside.. what the heck!! Im out of control, merely insane! What was I doing?! I swear I regret all these things I've done. No matter how many times I have apologize, they are words said and could never be taken back. Im never gonna bring this short coming forward to 2014. Its gonna stay and die in 2013.
Secondly, I didn't do well enough to prove the leadership in me. Everyone has leadership in them, but it's whether do they show it. Everyone is a born-leader, but definitely not me. I might sound pesimistic, but its the truth, because I'm not born a leader. Not yet a leader, because I'm a follower, and when the time comes, i'll become a leader. I regret not doing better. I know I could've done better but I didn't. I'm sorry. I have made my family and friends disappointed and I sincerely apologize. I did apologize to them face to face but I can't really face them because I just can't. The amount of shame and guilt stored in my eyes just couldn't fight back.
Lastly, results. I know I've tried my best, but it seems like my best ain't my very best. I might be able to do better! I know I didn't pay full attention during classes and refuse to seek help by going to tuition for intensive extra classes. But I'm sure I did all the revisions I need to do. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a A+ student?
No, no and no. I can change my attitude and control my temper. Next, is failing to show leadership gonna stop me from achieving my future goals? No! It is now my motivation to move on. Also, I know I am a A+ student, I just have to work harder and I know I can score well in my major exam next year, which is SPM.
What's the point of me telling my regrets and saying I can do better in 2014? I want all of you to know, never to give up. Never ever say 'i can't do it'. Set your target, find motivation. Can't find? Parents. Parents are the greastest motivation for you to continue your dreams and fulfilling your destiny. Not good enough? Life. You plan your own life and you ain't gonna screw it up by mistakes and choices you've made now. You create the future. Your own future. Always remember that there's always someone to back you up, and I know when I need it, all of you will back me up. Thank you all for always standing by and supporting me.
I will do my best in 2014 and hoping there will not be any regrets at all. I might face difficulties and problems I didn't wanna face, but I will make sure I don't regret anything.
Take care.
Love,
Kel.
Its like 47 more days till 2014. Time flies like some bullet nowadays. Everyday just goes by, productively or wasted. They just go and never come back.
Well, I realize I need to have some down sides posted here. Because too much up sides makes myself look fake. Who is able to be happy 24/7? Its possible, but difficult.
Sorry for the long post ahead.
I'm gonna pour my heart out, and tell you things that I didn't have courage to open up to anyone. It might change your perspective towards me, but this is me, and I am sorry. Let's just start with regrets. All my regrets in 2013.
The biggest regret is, I threw my temper at everyone when I'm pissed. Even if I feel bad after that, it's still a big no no. Its not something I'm taught to do! What is wrong with me. Flashback to all the words I have said to hurt people because I'm pissed, actions of jealousy because it makes me feel better on the inside.. what the heck!! Im out of control, merely insane! What was I doing?! I swear I regret all these things I've done. No matter how many times I have apologize, they are words said and could never be taken back. Im never gonna bring this short coming forward to 2014. Its gonna stay and die in 2013.
Secondly, I didn't do well enough to prove the leadership in me. Everyone has leadership in them, but it's whether do they show it. Everyone is a born-leader, but definitely not me. I might sound pesimistic, but its the truth, because I'm not born a leader. Not yet a leader, because I'm a follower, and when the time comes, i'll become a leader. I regret not doing better. I know I could've done better but I didn't. I'm sorry. I have made my family and friends disappointed and I sincerely apologize. I did apologize to them face to face but I can't really face them because I just can't. The amount of shame and guilt stored in my eyes just couldn't fight back.
Lastly, results. I know I've tried my best, but it seems like my best ain't my very best. I might be able to do better! I know I didn't pay full attention during classes and refuse to seek help by going to tuition for intensive extra classes. But I'm sure I did all the revisions I need to do. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a A+ student?
No, no and no. I can change my attitude and control my temper. Next, is failing to show leadership gonna stop me from achieving my future goals? No! It is now my motivation to move on. Also, I know I am a A+ student, I just have to work harder and I know I can score well in my major exam next year, which is SPM.
What's the point of me telling my regrets and saying I can do better in 2014? I want all of you to know, never to give up. Never ever say 'i can't do it'. Set your target, find motivation. Can't find? Parents. Parents are the greastest motivation for you to continue your dreams and fulfilling your destiny. Not good enough? Life. You plan your own life and you ain't gonna screw it up by mistakes and choices you've made now. You create the future. Your own future. Always remember that there's always someone to back you up, and I know when I need it, all of you will back me up. Thank you all for always standing by and supporting me.
I will do my best in 2014 and hoping there will not be any regrets at all. I might face difficulties and problems I didn't wanna face, but I will make sure I don't regret anything.
Take care.
Love,
Kel.
Friday, November 8, 2013
When sugar is no longer sweet, thats when i'll stop loving you.
Hey all! :D
Its been awhile since I've blogged. Oops :/ haha maybe its because I didn't have my comp for 4 months already. Mehh too much mapling xD but trust me, mapling was the best thing ever.
Sighh. I've been more emotional nowadays. So many ups and downs throughout this year. And 2013 is coming to an end already. Well.. what is done, is done. Next year is time for SPM. Haha!
I don't know why but I'm not really looking forward to 2014 though. Senior year :/ and there's no time to fool around. I know throughout the past 3-4 yrs, seniors had always been there, guiding me. Well, it all has come to this year which is my turn to guide the juniors. Hmm. I'll do my best (:
Everything has been going the way I expected. Except for one thing. Regrets, full of regrets! But there's no turning back.
At least I had a really sweet 16 where all my buddies were there to celebrate with me (: I'm so grateful to have u guys!! :D thanks for putting up with all my nonsense (: really appreciate how much u guys still stick around even how ridiculous I've been! For that, thank you! ^^
Let's put a good end to 2013, alright? (: there's no such thing as 're-living' the year. So, give it ur all and strive for the best in the next 2 months! Make this year the best (:
既然2013年将接近尾声,我也答应自己将为今年画上一个美丽的句号。我们都要学会慢慢成长, 把所有错的改成对的。不要因为一点小挫折而放弃伟大的梦想。展开梦想的翅膀,往庞大蔚蓝的天空飞翔！加油！
Best wishes! (:
Love,
Kel.
Its been awhile since I've blogged. Oops :/ haha maybe its because I didn't have my comp for 4 months already. Mehh too much mapling xD but trust me, mapling was the best thing ever.
Sighh. I've been more emotional nowadays. So many ups and downs throughout this year. And 2013 is coming to an end already. Well.. what is done, is done. Next year is time for SPM. Haha!
I don't know why but I'm not really looking forward to 2014 though. Senior year :/ and there's no time to fool around. I know throughout the past 3-4 yrs, seniors had always been there, guiding me. Well, it all has come to this year which is my turn to guide the juniors. Hmm. I'll do my best (:
Everything has been going the way I expected. Except for one thing. Regrets, full of regrets! But there's no turning back.
At least I had a really sweet 16 where all my buddies were there to celebrate with me (: I'm so grateful to have u guys!! :D thanks for putting up with all my nonsense (: really appreciate how much u guys still stick around even how ridiculous I've been! For that, thank you! ^^
Let's put a good end to 2013, alright? (: there's no such thing as 're-living' the year. So, give it ur all and strive for the best in the next 2 months! Make this year the best (:
既然2013年将接近尾声,我也答应自己将为今年画上一个美丽的句号。我们都要学会慢慢成长, 把所有错的改成对的。不要因为一点小挫折而放弃伟大的梦想。展开梦想的翅膀,往庞大蔚蓝的天空飞翔！加油！
Best wishes! (:
Love,
Kel.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Its always a good time! :D
Hey errehhbodehhh.
Just realized this will be my first post in 2013! :D
these 4 months in 2013,
i've been through so much ups and downs.
a lot of things happened unexpectedly.
Pn Shama left, Pn Cath left,
Jagdeep came and left, Mr Teoh is my eng teacher and leaving soon,
got selected as one of the BM highlights ed board member,
going to 3 camps in 3 months.
i mean like, what goes up, must come down eh?
good things happens, bad things comes along as well.
hmm.. things been quite well,
im happy and satisfied with most of the things .
Results went better than expected as well,
but i know i can do better (:
-Camp-
1. Division Camp 2013 (22 -24 Feb)
DU DIVISION CAMP WAS THE BOMB !
im satisfied and happy that i got to bond with all my friends and became close with one and other.
being part of the committee was a really, really great experience.
Juniors, be part of it ;)
u'll know how awesome it is ! xD
2. Integration Camp 2013 (22-24 March)
AWESOMEEE!!
i mean like, how is it possible to plan MK in 10 minutes?
but we did it anyways :D
Group name was eight-finity cuz we are group 8, and we can go beyond others . (:
3. Camp Pembangunan Insan (9-10 April)
ONE OF THE CAMPS THAT I CAN ACTUALLY BE MYSELF. ahaha :D
we dont represent unit beruniform,
we represent ourselves (:
i enjoyed myself to the max in the camp.
my group's name is Ohana :3
Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. (:
Life's been great so far.
if there's no ups and downs in life,
whats the point?
no Ups, u wont feel happy.
No downs, u WONT LEARN.
just remember,
whatever you do,
give it all your best and also..
STAY HAPPY :D
Just realized this will be my first post in 2013! :D
these 4 months in 2013,
i've been through so much ups and downs.
a lot of things happened unexpectedly.
Pn Shama left, Pn Cath left,
Jagdeep came and left, Mr Teoh is my eng teacher and leaving soon,
got selected as one of the BM highlights ed board member,
going to 3 camps in 3 months.
i mean like, what goes up, must come down eh?
good things happens, bad things comes along as well.
hmm.. things been quite well,
im happy and satisfied with most of the things .
Results went better than expected as well,
but i know i can do better (:
-Camp-
1. Division Camp 2013 (22 -24 Feb)
DU DIVISION CAMP WAS THE BOMB !
im satisfied and happy that i got to bond with all my friends and became close with one and other.
being part of the committee was a really, really great experience.
Juniors, be part of it ;)
u'll know how awesome it is ! xD
2. Integration Camp 2013 (22-24 March)
AWESOMEEE!!
i mean like, how is it possible to plan MK in 10 minutes?
but we did it anyways :D
Group name was eight-finity cuz we are group 8, and we can go beyond others . (:
3. Camp Pembangunan Insan (9-10 April)
ONE OF THE CAMPS THAT I CAN ACTUALLY BE MYSELF. ahaha :D
we dont represent unit beruniform,
we represent ourselves (:
i enjoyed myself to the max in the camp.
my group's name is Ohana :3
Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. (:
Life's been great so far.
if there's no ups and downs in life,
whats the point?
no Ups, u wont feel happy.
No downs, u WONT LEARN.
just remember,
whatever you do,
give it all your best and also..
STAY HAPPY :D
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