Im tired. im tired of all the dramas. im tired of caring for friends that never cared for me. im tired of starting a conversation, trying to keep it alive by saying random things but you just dont bother to put an effort to keep it alive. im tired of missing someone so much, they dont even care. im tired of talking on the phone. im tired of talking to people that thinks im fitting in. im tired of studying, even though i already know how much i study i still wont ace my academics. im tired of holding on to something that will never be mine. im tired of comforting other people but when i need comforting no one cares. im tired of life. im tired of myself being so tired. i tried to be nice to people but no one cares or bothers.
im trying to be nice to people but no one appreciates. im trying to talk and be more socialize but im just causing unwanted troubles. if i do things right, people never come to me and say "great job!" but when i do something wrong, "what the eff is wrong with you?" and start talking about me behind my back.
im just pissed at all this crap. i tried my best to live as someone i would love to live as. i dowanna care for a hardcore person. i dowanna study for nothing. i dowanna be like this. i dowanna be emo. im seriously out of all this shits. when people dont come to me, i wont go to people. i tried to be more caring, asking people are they okay, but in return, people call me lifeless because i cared too much. ya, im lifeless, im an unwanted bitch, im a pedo, im a cougar. call me whatever you want because im just too tired of caring. even if i shut you up, the next person will start talking about me. i dont care anymore. no matter how much i try, nothing will work as i wished.
im seriously pissed at myself. i try talking but people think im fitting in. i tried smiling but people makes me pissed. i tried caring but people call me lifeless. SO WHAT SHOULD I DO? now im gonna sit at my dark corner and start drawing circles and think that everything is my fault. i should cry alone in the dark and start smiling to people.i hate it whenever i cry, people will call me attention seeker. im just sad, okay? i dont need ur freaking attention. i dont hold my tears. i dont know how to. even if i hold back my tears, i still dont know how to smile. no one ever come to me and start saying "i'll be there for you no matter what happens" NO ONE will ever say that to me.
dont think i dont know what you guys are calling me behind my back. wan me to list them out? sure. here you go. : slut, bitch, pathetic whore, pedo, cougar, drama queen, attention seeker, trying to fit in, trying to be popular, useless bitch. why? because, I DIN DO ANYTHING TO YOU BUT U JUST JUDGE ME WITHOUT KNOWING THE WHOLE EFFING STORY AND YOU HATE ME LIKE THAT. but its okay. i dont care. this is karma. karma is being a bitch to me. everything is being a bitch to me. YOU, are also being a bitch to me. i just hate all this. i wanna tell someone about my problems but no one will ever listen.
and guess what?
AFTER I POST THIS, PEOPLE WILL CALL ME ATTENTION SEEKER. TRUST ME, IT'LL HAPPEN.
fml.
No comments:
Post a Comment